And more importantly why do you care?! Heh.
Sunday night through Monday night was just not a good time frame for me. I feel much more centered now but admittedly it took the concerted effort of myself, my partner, a friend and an acquaintance. I am grateful for the people in my life, and that includes myself -- I am an active participant.
It snowed today. It's beautiful, and cold, and the entire town shuts down. So does the hill beside our house, it is shut down by the city so kids can sled. I spent the day relaxing, and watching the first season of Queer as Folk. Today is a much better day than yesterday. And tomorrow will be even better.
I took a nap this afternoon. With George. He normally cuddles with me, but today he actually was my pillow. He was quite warm, and he purred. I was lulled to sleep which is good because yet again, I'm not sleeping as well as I should.
I watched our nation gain a new president today. I have eternal faith. It will take time, but I truly hope he is able to help bring about positive change in our country. I'd settle for a better economy. I will need a new job soon, and I'd prefer to get one that pays more rather than less. I liked Obama's speech, but Yitzhak Pearlman and Yo Yo Ma's performance almost had me in tears. I thought it was beautiful. I'd give credit to the clairanet player and the pianist but that would require looking up their names, and I don't feel like it. But they were wondermous, too.
I haven't eaten dinner, but I'm not hungry so I doubt I will. While on the phone earlier, I was sitting on the floor looking at my books. I pulled out a book about eating for the UC, colitis, ileitus, Crohn's disease, IBD stomach/colon/etc. My health insurance company sent it to me when I was first diagnosed. I never read it. I flipped through it, laughing as I read what it said I should and shouldn't eat, and what vitamins I should and shouldn't take considering malabsorption issues, etc. It's not funny. I laughed but I remembered why I could never read it in the first place. I want to live as if to live. Not live as if I'm constantly trying to keep from dying. I'm not. I'm pretty fucking healthy. Even if I am on antibiotics for the third time in less than a month.
I am still unsure of when an emotional response is too much or too little. I long to feel like the Goldilocks of Emotional Fortitude. I want all of my responses to be just right. Or at least to feel like they are. I'm learning, and I have a pretty damned awesome group of friends (not to mention a therapist) who help me with these sorts of things. I worry that all of this has already become pedantic, perhaps that I am becoming so but the plus side is I might be the occasional bore on this subject and others but damn ... I'm hawt. And really good in bed. And on the far side of a whip. So people forgive me ever so easily. Always look on the sunnyside, bitches.
Well, that and I give good closet. Oh, yeah, yeah, you know you want me to re-arrange your closet. It makes you hot, doesn't it? Oh yeah. Oh oh oh. Bangity bang bang. /end dork